Sometimes there aren’t always words to describe a feeling, sometimes all you can comprehend is the emptiness you feel in your soul. Your heart yearns for something that can never come back. Luke found me in one of my times of hopelessness and showed me the true meaning of love. When he and I became friends, no one in my life cared for me, I was alone until he saved me. He was the reason I endured the daily suffering, we made a promise to stay alive for each other. But I wasn’t enough for him. It’s been almost a year without him, yet not a single day has gone by without me thinking of him. Countless nights I’ve cried wishing I could just hold him once more (he gave the best hugs you know). But now this world is empty. Without Luke, my heart has been in a permanent state of grief. I just recently lost my great grandma, and my grandma is in the ER, my heart can’t handle the pain anymore. I would give anything and everything just to hold him again, I’d tell him how much I love him and never let go. I’ve tried my best to move on, but each day since feels like a nightmare. I pray I can wake up on March 10th and everything that has happened since will be nothing more than a bad dream. I don’t care about the new friends I made, I don’t care about my new life, I just want my best friend back. I feel nothing but the suffocating reality of emptiness. Luke I love you more than most and I hope I can hold you again. (Please never take your own life, you mean so much more than you could ever comprehend to the people around you)
Thank you for sharing your heart and leading us through our grief. This is hard. I sit here with tears in my eyes, understanding how hard it is to even take the next step sometimes. You are brave. You are strong. This is true even when you do not believe it yourself. Since I was a younger, the Footprints story has kept me looking forward knowing I’ll make it, even through the hardest of times. If I didn’t know Jesus was carrying me, I do not think I would have the hope I have. I pray that you feel Jesus carrying you too. You are so important to us at school, thank you for being you and leading us.
Thank you for sharing and letting us know that the emotions we feel are emotions others struggle with as well. In moments of struggling and suffering I often remind myself of Romans 8:17-18. It states…’Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later’. What a promise to claim and stand on as we are suffering!